Sunday, March 22, 2015
Few things rival the morning quiet, and how the crisp cool air hit your face when you first open up the door, letting out a full night's collection of exhales.
The boy has been reading Stephen King's "The Shinning", and as a result, I've found myself couch surfing in my own house. He has been too scared to sleep in his own bed, stealing mine for the warmth of soft bedding and 'mom smell'. His room is tough for girls to look at, let alone sleep in. So I tuck him in at the start of the night, leaving on a small lamp in the hall, then creep downstairs and submit to the embrace of the oddly comfortable couch, and the company of Mrs. Bean, our pet bunny.
She likes to tug on the water bottle, making it clank with the metal cage, the sound large against the backdrop of the night. But I succumb to sleep anyway, thankful that I've found the strength for a swim that afternoon and that it has the strength to beat insomnia I never had.
My phone chirps, in the wee hours when the neighbor's dogs whine like shapeless ghosts who are making their own creepy effect music. I don't have to get up and go to the mantle where it lays charging to see it is from mom, she being the only one who would wake up and text me this time of the day. The glare from the screen jilts me from sleep, even though my head spins from a dizziness that only occurs when faced with electronics at odd hours in the morning.
There is a world of worries out there. Food quality, chemical ingredients, weather patterns, relatives near and afar. All make up a recipe to pull mom awake from her dreams. It has become a privilege now, to be able to share her thoughts, snoozing but a small toll to pay.
I open a window to hear the neighbor cough, another getting up to pee, perhaps lovemaking in the distance, mixed with nose blowing, and an engine starting in the parking lot on the left. The sounds make the morning quiet stand out somehow, as if music made by the space between notes.
Mrs. Bean falls asleep as the dark of the night fades into the blue, of morning light.