She walked in with trepidations. She was an hour and a half late.
But as she strained to conceal the click clack of her heels, she heard nothing. The swooshing sound of her rain coat that used to drive her crazy disappeared too. She peeked up through her lashes to see eyes staring toward the front of the classroom where she stood yet no glances stopped, as if she were a drop of dew evaporating in the rising sun.
Sunlight is streaming into the room, casting up glares on the whiteboard. Steven and Megan who sat in the back corners, stood to close the curtains. She jolted when she heard the sharp sound of the chain screeching against the rod, as if waking from a dream. Their faces were blank however, when she tried to smile and wave discreetly in their directions. Then she saw them smile at each other, and nodded toward a few other students who looked back. She pinched herself, and winced from the pain.
The drone of the teacher's voice put several heads on the desks. But as she sat on the only remaining seat in the back, she straightened her back to stay alert. A whisper came into her ears, so she turned around. It was Zara, who wanted to clarify a question. Dan was whispering back the answer now, but too far for her to hear. She hadn't caught the question either. She felt cold, though she sat directly under the sun, wrapped in a heavy coat.
When she couldn't come up with the answer herself, as she couldn't remember the question, she didn't panic. Somehow she knew no one would check, no one would sneak a choked laugh like they were doing to Sean as he blurted out staccato phrases of confusion. She scratched mindlessly on her notepad, too clumsy to draw a real shape, too distracted to write verses, and too afraid to pound on the paper as her heart pound into her chest walls, noiselessly but pounding nonetheless.
1. It has been so long since I wrote anything my fingers were shaking as I clicked on "New Post". This button of anxiety feels like a comfortable old bike somehow. I only had ten minutes before the next appointment so apologies in advance for what would surely be a post with more than the usual spelling/grammatical foes.
2. A frantic but life so full leaving me fewer moments to ponder and come up with words, but happy and cheerful nonetheless.
3. Supportive voices from the most unlikely places, making the occasional bad day less gray and damp.
4. Rain. It may dampen the roads but I love how it makes the leaves out by my window shine.