Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Ruffled

Last night's moon
stumbled across tree tops
not caring
whose hair she ruffled
intoxicated by that
first cup of dawn

This morning's sun
rained down my sleeves
letting me splash
in sorrows of loss
as well as
joys
of existence.

Question:  Can you give this poem a title?  Please leave your suggestion in the comment?

* update:  Thank you Claudia for picking a beautiful title for this poem. Thank you everyone for all your suggestions. They were each wonderful and inspiring but I could only pick one. 

Sunshine that looked like rain*











- A few thankful things:

1. Friends who thought of me, and brought me what I needed.
2. Connecting with people around the world, one fragment at a time.
3. Cooking trout for the first time, ginger and soy style.
4. Listening to songs of praise, sorrow and joy.
5. Tomatoes and peppers thriving and bearing fruit in the heat.
6. Splashing in the waves.
7. Coffee anytime, warm or iced, golden or black, over a balcony or at a seaside bench.


* No that is not my house. Though I am thankful for my small apartment farther from the ocean.

28 comments:

  1. Beautiful poem! Doesn't it just bring a smile to your face to write down the things you're thankful for? God is SO good! Have a blessed day!

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  2. That was wonderful. Very sorrowful.Lunar Tears? Although Untitled is pretty good in itself!

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  3. the moon, the sun, un-done

    my shot at a title...really like that second stanza an how the sun brings sorrow yet joy...

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  4. Life Stream...from dark to night, sorrow to joy, moon beam, sun stream, let it all rain down. You have said so much in this wonderful write, I could ponder on a fitting title forever and not do it justice.

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  5. I thought of the title "Seduction" for the first verse, but that didn't work for the second one. How about "Immersion"?

    Lovely images!

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  6. Beautiful poem, I'll have a think about a title. In terms of your list I feel the same way about 2 but would never have put it as well as you.

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  7. Either The Moon and the Sun or First Cup of Dawn

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  8. i much like the part where the moon ruffles the hair...great pic..."ruffled" - my take on a title..

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  9. This is a very beautiful poem, I loved it. Robbie's idea "First Cup of Dawn" sounds perfect.

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  10. beautiful dear one! "Joy's of Existence" to me would be the
    perfect title because in the end this is what you found!

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  11. Beautiful poem. I might suggest "First Cup" or "First Cup of Dawn" as a fitting title.

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  12. Stephen took my suggestion--I would call it Cup of Dawn after the strongest theme in the poem. The fist stanza is solid, original and wastes no words. Enjoyed.

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  13. A subtle and delicate poem... deep light shines!....Sorrow of Loss would be a great title....or just leave it as it is ... Love it!

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  14. Beautiful poem... touching... expressive.... my favorite cosmic spheres are the sun and the moon... no sure what you can call the poem... it sounds great without one... I also enjoyed reading what you were thankful for.... I am thankful that you take the time to read my blog... and I am also thankful that I have the privilege of reading yours.

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  15. Loved the pictures your words painted.

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  16. Love the poem! You know I always love your work.

    "Oblivious night into poignant day dream"

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  17. this is a great poem Shopgirl - oh I wouldn't be able to find a title to do it justice

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  18. ..i believe there is this natural beauty hidden in your words that volumes in every read... and some beauty are better left untitled... adorable!(:

    ~Kelvin

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  19. I particularly like the 1st stanza...x




    www.whiskypainkillerspeeed.blogspot.com

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  20. Loree read the poem and I had to try for a title. How about:

    Lights of a day or
    Lights of Life

    Beautiful poem

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  21. "Last Night's Moon" definitely! It reminds me of those collection of pooms authors sometimes do where the first line is the title, you know like Rilke or Shakespeare:)

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  22. I read it that you are in your bed watching the moon at night and the sun in the morning. So my suggestion for title is

    "From My Bed"


    i.e., this is what you see and feel from your bed looking and feeling the sun and the moon.

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  23. You have such a wonderful way with words, this is lovely and very expressive. I believe others before me have suggested far better titles than I can ever hope to, so I will pass on offering any other one.

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  24. Beautifully expressive poem. Rainshine. Like standing under a summer rainstorm. Warm, glowing and dusky damp all at the same time. Just lovely, Shopgirl. :)

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  25. Thanks everyone so much for your kind comments and title suggestions. I really liked these titles as they were original and I didn't even think of them:

    1. Undone (Brian Miller)
    2. Ruffled (Claudia)
    3. First Cup of Dawn (Robbie, et al)

    I've really enjoyed linking up to the poetry community in the last couple of weeks. Thank you - the wonderful organizers who setup this home for everyone.

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  26. I loved this poem, especially the moon stumbling over treetops - not caring whose hair she ruffled. Lovely!

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  27. Lovely write, I like Brian's title suggestion :)

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  28. uuuhh nice - i feel honored...

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