Monday, March 14, 2011

Worrier Syndrom

I noticed his ID before anything else: Eternal Worrier. It said much with little, and created an instant echo.

"You are such a worrier..." My boss used to always tell me. I'd stare at the ceiling at 2am running through my to do list over and over until I give up sleeping and start on them. No matter how well I try to hide it, people see traces of it. "You are so sensitive" is just another way of putting it, referring more to my worry over people's feeling getting hurt over tiny mistakes or overstated words.  Though sometimes the worrying would create an opposite effect, pushing me into even more awkward poses.

Worrying got me far in some ways. "Attention to detail" usually fails me by design, and worrying pushes me to mull over things and catch a good enough percentage of careless mistakes.

It creates a vicious cycle, unfortunately. The more I catch, the more it scares me into further worrying. This nearly prevents me from thinking clearly in the first place the next time around, of this I am convinced. Soon I can't worry fast enough and the whole thing falls apart.

But of course this is like watching a goose floating on the serenity of a pond. You'd never see it's poor little feet pedaling in hyper speed underneath the calm surface. You see and imagine dance moves from the serene glide where not even a feather is twitched.

That's what I see from his words, elegant feathers of colors gliding across the soft background of his pages. He has an eye for settings, which I envy but could not emulate. He paints the story's background, with watercolor techniques in subtlety. You see it, you feel it, you are affected, but you hardly notice it. The story pulls you in, and leads you in observing the characters with affection, humor, and at times, melancholy and sadness.  He likes to hide the depth of these emotions behind simplicity and soothing flows, but you get there because you follow the breadcrumbs of every word and character like a lost child and finding them feels like going home.  Between the lines, I see talent, confidence, creative flares, not worries.  Perhaps about life, but not about writing.

But soothing as it seems to read them, life and the work behind the stories did seem to take their toll.  He is resigning from his blog with an elegant farewell.  It came as a shock, as there had been more new and creative samples coming forth lately.  But perhaps life is like that, unpredictable and heavy at times. I fear it maybe indefinite, but want to hope there's still a chance for a come back. In the meantime, I want to wish him well and a well deserved rest.  I also urge you to check out his stories, especially the recent posts and those listed under "Most Read in 2010", you will enjoy, be inspired and if you are like me, learn a thing or two about good writing.

20 comments:

  1. 'That's what I see from his words, elegant feathers of colors gliding across the soft background of his pages'

    I am so glad you wrote this blog post. I had a shock too when I saw he was retiring from blogging yesterday. I am going to miss Eternal Worrier's posts so much. He inspired a lot of my writing and I wish him all the best.

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  2. This is a really lovely tribute (if that's the right word) Shopgirl.

    I think you said it beautifully.

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  3. I had not read Eternal Worrier before. But this is a great gift to a blog friend.

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  4. I have not read Eternal Worrier, but will today - thanks for the link. I worry too...not as much as I used to - I think reading God's word helps me through those worry times that come in and out of our lives. I love your writing!

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  5. What a nice lyrical post! Almost poetic. I'm sorry to hear a good writer has stopped blogging, but perhaps that will give him more time to write other things. I hope you have a great week!

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  6. Gosh, I hope he sees this - a smashing, generous and kind tribute. You have little need to worry about being a good kind person - you show that all the time.

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  7. Lord, you know how to peg it. I hope EW sees this, and I hope everyone who reads this visits his blog. I have a feeling he'll be back sooner rather than later. And we'll all be waiting for that first read... it's going to be good. ;)

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  8. I can relate. I worry about if I remembered to worry about everything. I am convinced that the one thing you forget to worry about will be the thing that will come back to bite you. And of course, every once in a while my over thinking saves the day. Just often enough to justify my worry.

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  9. I just found out that he won't blog any more and I'm shocked. I admire him very much and I think that you wrote a really lovely tribute.

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  10. To everything there is a season...

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  11. I wish you would have more confidence in yourself. You are very special and have a great way with words, keep blogging.
    Tracey
    www.tracey-confessionofamother.blogspot.com

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  12. Beautiful, beautiful post. Keep it up. And gorgeous photo.

    Sarah Allen
    (my creative writing blog)

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  13. Worrying is something I've struggled with my entire life-- I will have to check out his writing.
    You are so graceful with your words and this is a lovely tribute to him. The swan's effortless appearance lingered with me after I read this post.
    <3

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  14. Thank you everyone for your wonderful and encouraging comments. I was surprised to see so many different perspectives, including several I haven't thought of myself. I am so glad to be part of this community where we support each other.

    Thanks.

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  15. Loree - thanks so much for visiting and commenting on EW's blog and mention my blog as a reference. I appreciate that.

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  16. I will definitely check it out even if I did miss out on it until it was already too late.

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  17. What a beautiful post. So well written. I will check out his link- thank you so much.

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  18. Wow! This is some blog. Have you ever made blogger's "Blog of Note"? Because if haven't, you should.

    ` Ken

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  19. Nari - His top read list is well worth a visit, esp the piece on hospital visit. Never too late as it is still there.

    PAMO - Welcome and thanks for paying a visit. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

    Ken - Thanks and welcome. Don't mind if you recommend it to them!

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