To be sure, I don't suddenly know what my future will hold, all my problems in the physical world is still here, as real as that last piece of chocolate laying in an empty box. Yet I know I am holding onto the right kind of support, faith, hope and unconditional love. My one wish then, is to remember to never let go, not so that I will forever now be faultless, or even get close to it. I know more than ever that I am still wobbling like a toddler with many cuts and scrapes, but will run off into the danger and the wild at every opportunity that entices. I just count on that steady hand of love to wave, and a still small voice to call, whenever I did find myself back into those dark and foggy traps.
I count also on your continued patience and understanding, not only to forgive all my past angst, mood swings, and irrational at best, unthinkable at worst behaviors, but future ones too. I know I will continue to disappoint you at one point or another, like I have done so many times over the years. However I can also tell you I am relishing at life's every moment as an opportunity to grow in maturity and steadiness. The kind of maturity that exudes peace, understanding, patience, joy, love kindness, and self control, the kind that fills me with thankfulness and grace until it overflows, the kind that finally patches up all the hurt and emptiness, so long collected from the vanity of my youth and nurtured by the pride of independence.
|A snowy white Christmas|
So in this time of Christmas and New Year, I rejoice for your health, happiness, and peaceful minds as my own. I pray that you know how much I celebrate the moments we spend together, past, present or future, as droplets of honey sweetness into that treasured jar labeled "blessings" close to my heart. I pray that you will find moments of closeness in the days ahead, with someone that you love or need to be loved, into which you can forever look back, and smile like I do as I think of you now, thanking God for having placed such unbearable richness in my life.
PS: I hope you don't think this is my new found skinflint way of cheating you out of a gift gift this year. How could you? You know I can't resist a good gift giving opportunity, but as a hopeless procrastinator, they are likely to arrive just a bit late, with perhaps just a bit of a shabby wrap, if at all. A small price for peace and a novelty to appreciate don't you think?